


fall together

by demistories



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, ML Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 14:46:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demistories/pseuds/demistories
Summary: Marinette surprised him when she asked him to go to the movies with her.One date turned into two turned into three and somewhere along the way they stopped being individual dates and were just the two of them dating.And Adrien really liked it.He should’ve known that it was too easy.





	fall together

**Author's Note:**

  * For [savagelady92 on tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=savagelady92+on+tumblr).



> for savagelady92 on tumblr for the mlsecretsanta!!! 
> 
> happy holidays! you asked for hurt/comfort and i tried my best, my ml is a lil rusty. i havent seen any of season 2, so sorry for any inconsistencies!! 
> 
> this is also known as adrien isnt very good at being a person the fic
> 
> enjoy~

Marinette surprised him when she asked him to go to the movies with her.

Adrien liked Marinette, he liked her a lot. He admired her as a person and a designer — he’d been tossed around the fashion industry enough to know what was good and wasn’t — and was relieved that they were friends, because there was no way he would ever want to be on her bad side. She was intense, she was caring, she was passionate. And Adrien liked spending time with her. So when she stammered out the question and held out tickets, he said yes.

One date turned into two turned into three and somewhere along the way they stopped being individual dates and were just the two of them dating.

And Adrien _really liked it_.

When he originally said yes to Marinette, he was still sort of pining for Ladybug, but figured him and Marinette were good friends and then if things were awkward or didn’t work out well, they could still be friends afterward. And yeah, it _was_ a little awkward at first, but then it was nice and made Adrien feel warm and bubbly. He liked holding Marinette’s hand in the hallway and stealing kisses before and after class and squeezing in time between all of his other activities — superhero and civilian — to call and text her. She’d send him pictures of her newest designs and he’d reply with bad selfies. Adrien just liked being around her, he felt happiest there.

He should’ve known that it was too easy.

One day, Adrien was juggling all his responsibilities. Clumsily, but he was doing it. The next, everything piled up and kept going up and up and up and up.

First there was the sudden trip to Australia. A surprise business trip that Gabriel just _had_ to make and Adrien _needed_ to be there for the entire week to do random photoshoots. So Chat Noir told Ladybug there was a family emergency and told her to hand out the other miraculous if anything should happen and Adrien Agreste said goodbye to Marinette and his other friends and boarded a private jet carrying a week’s worth of schoolwork.

Mostly, he’d just sat around his hotel room and studied. The only reason he wasn’t constantly behind on all his classes due to his work schedule and his superhero schedule was because most of it he’d already learned before going to public school. Once he reached a class he hadn’t yet taken… He just shuddered and pushed that thought away.

His father called him out to do a few quick shoots, but it was nothing much, and Adrien felt the strong pull of Paris.

When they got back, Chat caught up with Ladybug. There had been three akuma attacks over the course of the week. Caparace and Bee had helped with one, while Rena stepped in for the other two. It made Chat’s skin crawl, knowing that there had been trouble and he hadn’t been there to help. He promised Ladybug that it wouldn’t happen again and she rolled her eyes and said that they couldn’t control anything and it was totally fine.

Adrien paced around his room and analyzed her expression for hours later just to try and see if she was lying to him.

Then there was the akuma attacks— multiple a day for over a week. Ladybug and Chat called in reinforcements, but that didn’t change the fact that they were exhausted. Other parts of life, like school, had been put on pause, but whenever Adrien got back to his room at night, he’d collapse in his bed instead of working on the classwork that’d been assigned for them as they evacuated the school.

Finals crept closer and the weather got warmer, bringing more outdoor shoots with it. Sometimes it felt like Adrien was being squished into a tiny box with only one pinprick for air. Other times it was like he was drowning in the middle of the ocean.

He was exhausted on patrols — Ladybug started having other heroes switch out with him — and exhausted in class — his grades were starting to slip — and exhausted at shoots — the makeup artists would chide him for not resting properly as they caked on concealer — and he hadn’t seen Marinette outside of school in weeks.

It wasn’t like it had been an easy choice to make.

Unfortunately, there were only twenty four hours in a day and Adrien didn’t have the power to change that. And he wasn’t entirely convinced that if he could, it would fix his problem. He needed to cut stuff down.

He couldn’t drop out of school, as much as he sometimes wanted to as he listened to Ms. Mendeleiev drone on and on about atomic shells. He couldn’t give up his superhero duties, because those were an important responsibility that kept the city safe, he was already there as little as he could possibly be, and it’s not like he could ask Hawk Moth to take a vacation. He couldn’t quit modelling, because his father would probably murder and slash or disown him. He couldn’t stop his frankly ridiculous number of extra curriculars; piano, fencing, basketball, martial arts, Chinese; for the same reason, because his father thought he needed to be some master of everything he breathed near. And he couldn’t just stop sleeping because that’s not how the human body functioned.

Besides, it wasn’t fair to Marinette. She deserved more than an exhausted boyfriend who could barely scramble together the time to text her ‘good morning’ once in a while. She deserved actual dates and long walks along the Seine and gifts and an _actual relationship_.

Adrien came to this conclusion at four in the morning when he was trying to finish a history essay. He almost texted her right then and there, but then fell asleep on his keyboard. The next morning, he got up and wrote himself a pro con list as he raced around the room getting ready for a meeting with his father and some manager of some agency.

Looking at the list made Adrien’s throat tighten. He crumpled it up and threw it into the trash as he left the room. It was what was best for Marinette. How he felt about it didn’t matter.

He tried to do it in the gentlest way he could manage. He googled things like ‘how to break up with your girlfriend even though you still love her’ and debated getting a gift or something, but that felt weird. Like he was trying to pay her out of the relationship or something. And if there was anything he’d learned about Marinette in the near year he’d known her, it was that she did not care about his money.

Besides, she preferred homemade gifts to bought ones. The thought was more important to her than the price paid. And the thought of giving her something meaningful and then walking away made Adrien’s insides curl.

Adrien found a free hour on a Saturday. He went to the bakery and asked if Marinette was home. Her maman smiled at him and told him she was working in her room and let him in through the bakery door. He tried to return her smile, but he couldn’t bring himself to.

It almost felt like he was floating through the house. He didn’t feel present until he was climbing Marinette’s stairs and knocking on her trap door.

When Marinette opened the door, her hair was twisted up into two messy buns held by pencils. She was wearing a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants— an outfit Adrien recognized as her true work mode outfit. His stomach sank at the realization.

“Adrien!” she gasped. “Oh my god, did you text me? I haven’t had my phone on, Alya kept sending me this horrible meme and—“

“No, it’s okay,” Adrien interrupted. “I…forgot to tell you I was coming over.”

Marinette gave him a soft smile. Adrien’s legs started to shake and he almost fell down the stairs. “That’s okay,” she said. “Come on up.” She stepped aside to let him into her room.

Adrien hesitated. Being in her room would hinder his ability to leave quickly. Not that he wanted to leave her sobbing or anything, but if she never wanted to see him again—

Marinette’s eyebrows furrowed. “Adrien?” she asked. “Is everything okay?”

Adrien swallowed tightly. “Mari…” he trailed off. On his way over, he had a whole speech practically scripted and memorized. Standing in front of her, staring at her face, all of his words were gone.

He licked his lips. “Marinette,” he said and he thought he saw some tiny realization in her eyes and hoped that would make this easier, “I’m so sorry.”

She blinked rapidly. “For?” she asked. Her voice sounded strained.

“I…” Adrien shook his head and stared down at his hands. “Nette, you deserve so much more than me. Someone who has more time for you…” He looked up at her.

Marinette watched him with large eyes. “This is it?” she whispered.

“We can still be friends,” Adrien said quickly, “really. I really really like you Mari—“

“But,” she interrupted with a small smile. “I get it.” She takes a breath. “Okay. I’ll see you at school on Monday?” she asked.

Adrien nodded. He was trying to find more words to say, but he couldn’t see to make his vocal cords work right. “I—“

Something in Marinette’s room started ringing. “My phone,” she murmured. “I should get that.” She started to lower the trap door. She paused. “Can you see yourself out?”

“‘course.”

Marinette gave him another quick smile and shut the trap door.

Adrien had to resist the urge to tell he loved her in lieu of a goodbye.

—«·»—

Adrien went to a photoshoot in the park for the summer line. As people pushed him around and dressed him, he felt hollow and empty.

He didn’t want Marinette to cry. He didn’t _ever_ want to hurt her. But for her to have almost no reaction to something that he had spent nights agonizing over—

Adrien forced the thoughts away and focused on looking happy and summer-y for the pictures. It would do no one any good if they had to trash the pictures from this shoot. Not to mention his father would be furious. He expected perfection the first time with everything.

If only he’d taught Adrien how to be the perfect boyfriend.

—«·»—

After the shoot, Adrien ate a small lunch in the car while on the way to a piano lesson. He snuck Plagg some cheese from his sandwich as Paris passed by. He only met with his piano teacher once a month, but he was expected to practice the instrument for an hour daily at least.

Sometimes, Adrien wondered if his father knew basic math. He seemed convinced Adrien was superhuman and could do everything at once and fit hours and hours of work and school and practice into a single day.

Adrien had to admit that his father was partially right.

After piano came three straight hours of homework and studying. Adrien threw his phone onto his bed to minimize distractions, even though he’d had it muted since he left Marinette’s. He always muted it during photoshoots, he didn’t need anyone going through his stuff to try and find a buzzing phone in an attempt to be helpful or just to snoop.

Chemistry was easy enough, and English was quick work, but he was behind on history readings and badly needed to catch up before the next test. Adrien groaned when he checked his planer and saw the next test was on Thursday. Four days to prepare was going to have to be enough.

When the words started to swim in Adrien’s vision, he shut the book and face planted on his bed. He needed to get up and get cheese for Plagg and go on patrol — he’d promised Ladybug last week that he could resume his old schedule because he was _determined_ to bare the full weight of his responsibilities — but mostly he just wanted to sleep.

For the first time in hours, he had nothing else to think about but Marinette. Adrien buried his face in his comforter. Thinking about the way she looked at him with a blank expression and a vacant look in her eyes made him feel like he was being stabbed.

And he’d _been_ stabbed.

Adrien propped himself up on his elbows and reached for his phone. He blinked in surprise when he unlocked it and saw dozens of unread messages— most from Alya and two from Nino.

Adrien marked Alya’s messages as read and went back to Nino’s. He already had an idea of what Alya had to say. Sure, him and Alya were friends, but she was Marinette’s best friend first, and he’d just dumped her.

Nino’s first message was a series of question marks and the second said ‘yo call me when you can’.

Adrien rolled onto his back and hit call. He hugged a pillow to his chest as the phone rang.

“ _What happened?_ ” Nino asked as soon as he picked up.

“Hi to you too,” Adrien joked. His voice sounded thick and broken.

“ _Alya said you—_ ”

“Yeah,” he interrupted. He took a shaky breath. “Yeah I…I broke up with Mari.”

They sat on the phone in silence for a moments before Nino asked, “ _Why?_ ”   
It became harder to breath and tears started to well up in Adrien’s eyes. “It’s— nothing happened, it’s just— it’s not _Mari_ ,” he amended quickly, “it’s me.”

Nino sighed. “ _Adrien…_ ”

“I didn’t _want_ to—”

“ _Then why did you?_ ”

“It was only fair.”

Nino went quiet for a moment. “ _Can you hop on Skype? I’m talking to Alya right now and it might be easier for you if you only have to do this once_.”

“She’s not with Marinette?” Adrien asked. He sat up and dragged a hand through his hair. He would’ve thought that Alya— Marinette must have been even more okay with him ending things than he initially thought.

“ _She just got back_ ,” Nino murmured.

Adrien took a deep breath. “Your girlfriend is gonna kill me,” he said weakly.

“ _I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen_ ,” Nino promised. “ _Please?_ ”

Adrien stood up from his bed. His knees felt weak and shaky. Plagg yawned from his spot next to Adrien’s pillow and eyed him tiredly. “Give me a sec,” Adrien said, waving Plagg’s concern away. “I need to get on my computer.”

“ _I’ll call when you get online_.”

Adrien sank into his desk chair and let himself spin in a slow circle.

“She gonna kill you?” Plagg asked.

“Maybe,” Adrien said. “I don’t know.” He dragged his hand through his hair again. “I don’t know, I—” He shook his head. “I didn’t do _good_ but I did the _best_ I could, right?”

Plagg tilted his head. “Sure, kid. If that helps you sleep tonight.”

“It won’t,” Adrien grumbled as he logged into Skype. It took an painfully long time for the window to load, and even longer for the video chat to open once Nino called. Adrien gave a little wave as Nino and Alya popped up on his screen.

Nino looked stressed and had pen smeared across his cheek. He wasn’t doing too well in history, he was probably cramming for their test on Thursday. Alya had her hair pulled up in a top knot that threatened to fall over and her glasses shoved up on the top of her head. She just looked pissed.

Adrien probably deserved that.

“ _What were you thinking, Agreste?_ ” Alya asked.

“What did Marinette tell you?” he asked instead of answering. It’d be easier if he knew what he was going up against. Even though he wouldn’t blame Marinette if she slandered him in front of Alya.

Alya dragged a hand down her face. “ _That you showed up with no warning and dumped her. And you pulled that ‘we can still be friends’ garbage_.”

“I meant it,” Adrien said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. Because he _did_ . “I _do_ want to be friends still—”

“ _But dude that’s such a cliche thing to say in a breakup_ ,” Nino interrupted. “ _When you say that in that context you_ know _that never happens. ‘We can still be friends’ equals ‘let’s never talk again and I’m blocking you on Facebook’._ ”

“I—” Adrien shook his head. “Wait, neither of us use Facebook.”

Alya snapped in front of the webcam. “ _Stay on topic. It doesn’t really matter what you_ intended _, because she sure didn’t interpret it in that way. What else did you say?_ ”

“Th-that she deserved better than me. I’m so busy and I—”

“ _Did you say that_ exactly _?”_ Alya asked.

Adrien blinked. “I don’t— I think I said something about she deserves someone who has time for her.”

Nino groaned and Alya buried her head in her hands.

Adrien chewed on his lip and waited for one of them to say something.

Alya sighed and lifted her head from her hands. “ _Marshmallow, you really are one of my best friends, but you have this_ thing _where sometimes you do things and say things without thinking about how other people will interpret them_.”

“What…do you mean specifically?”

She pressed her hands together. “ _Please think about what you said. You told Marinette that she deserves someone who has time for her. You think that means whatever you think it does. What do you think someone else, who isn’t in your head, will hear that as_?”  

Adrien looked away from his screen, because he felt like he couldn’t think straight with Alya and Nino staring at him like that. He felt tired and broken and just wanted to go on patrol and breathe the night air and stand next to Ladybug in an understood and comfortable silence.

 _“Adrien_ ,” Alya said gently, “ _it sounded like you were saying you didn’t want to put in the effort to make time for her. That you looked at a busy schedule and decided she was the first thing you could get rid of_.”

He turned away from the computer. Because that’s exactly what he did, didn’t he? But there was a logic to it, it made _sense_ and it was _fair_ — “I didn’t mean it that way,” he whispered.

“ _I can tell_.”

Nino coughed awkwardly. “ _Is that it? You just…don’t have time_?”

Adrien spun back toward them. “You don’t understand, my dad…” He trailed off as he saw Nino and Alya’s expressions. Adrien swallowed hard. “I didn’t want her stuck in a terrible relationship with a terrible boyfriend.”

“ _And shouldn’t she get a say in that decision?_ ” Alya asked.

Adrien glanced to the time at the top of his screen. He needed to leave soon, but he didn’t want to seem like he was running away from this conversation. Which he was absolutely doing. “I thought it’d be easier,” he decided to say.

Alya frowned. “ _Breakups are rarely easy_.”

Nino nodded. “ _I love you, man, but I think you might’ve messed this one up. Especially if you still like her._ ”

Adrien rubbed his eyes. “I have to go,” he said, no longer caring if he was being blunt. “A lot happened today, can we talk about this more tomorrow?”

Nino looked sad and Alya looked frustrated.

“I’ll fix this,” he promised. “I’ll talk to Marinette and—”

Alya held up a hand. “ _I don’t think she wants to talk to you right now. In fact, right now she said she wanted to be totally alone. She needs space and time._ ”

Adrien forced himself to take a slow breath. “She hates me.”

Alya didn’t answer.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he mumbled as he reached for his mouse. “Night.” He ended the call without waiting for a response and shoved his chair away from his desk.

“I don’t think that went well,” Plagg said.

Adrien glared at him. “Can we just go?” he asked. “I won’t ask anything from you tomorrow— I just need to get out of this room.”

Plagg sighed. “You say that, but watch tomorrow be stuffed full of akumas. But _fine_.”

—«·»—

When Chat Noir got to the meeting spot for patrol, he expected red and black spots. Not yellow and black stripes.

He slowed as he approached the roof the team had claimed as home base. “QB?”

Queen Bee glanced at him over her shoulder. “Noir,” she said shortly. “Didn’t think you were back patrolling.”

“Figured my life out,” he said. The words taste bitter and poisonous on his tongue.

Bee snorted and tossed her ponytail over her shoulder. “Took you long enough.”

“What happened to LB?”

Bee tilted her head at him. “She didn’t tell you? She couldn’t make it tonight. She dropped off my miraculous about an hour ago with a note. Found it in my room when I got back from dinner. I figured she’d tell whoever was going to be with her tonight.”   
Chat shrugged and tried to keep his face blank. He was fine with working with Queen Bee. He liked talking to her. (He liked Chloé, he really did. That helped.) But she wasn’t Ladybug. Ladybug was different. There was some sort of connection that they had that he couldn’t explain to their other teammates. There was something about them that made them understand each other on a different level than he experienced with most people.

Talking to her was different than talking to Queen Bee.

“I’ll take this side of the Seine and you take the other?” he offered. “We’ll have less ground to cover and more time to check stuff carefully.”

Queen Bee gave him a two fingered salute and stepped to the edge of the roof. “Ten four, Noir,” she said as she pitched herself off the side of the building.

Chat rolled his eyes as she took off over the skyline. Her flair for the dramatic never changed. And now that she was gone…

He turned toward the bakery. Marinette might not want to see Adrien, but she shouldn’t have anything against Chat Noir.

At least, not yet.

—«·»—

Chat Noir landed on a rooftop a street away from the bakery. He could spot Marinette’s balcony from here in the darkness. She had a dim light on in her room, but he couldn’t see her from here. He’d have to go up to her window, which she would notice. He would probably be better off just knocking on her door and asking if she was okay.

He took a few breaths to try and slow his heart before leaping from the rooftop to the next. It only took him a few movements to land precariously on the iron wrought railing. Chat balanced himself with his tail before he jumped down to the balcony floor. He tried to make more noise than he usually would, but it was strangely hard to have heavy footsteps.

His ears twitched as he approached her skylight.

When Chat glanced down, Marinette was staring up at him with puffy red eyes.

He bit back a swear and waved at her. She frowned as she sat up. Chat stepped away as she opened the skylight. She squinted at him in the darkness and he hoped his swishing tail wouldn’t give away his nerves.

“Is something wrong?” she asked softly. He thought her voice maybe sounded a little bit hoarse, but he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure about anything anymore. “Is there an akuma or—?”

“Just on patrol,” Chat said quickly. “Thought I’d stop by and say hi.” She narrows her eyes and he motioned to her window. “It’s late, you’ve got a light on. Couldn’t sleep?”

“Rough day,” she said with a sniff. “Is that all?”

“Do you want to talk about?” he asked.

Marinette looked down into her room. “One second,” she said, ducking back inside. Chat stepped back and leaned against the railing as he waited.

It was hard to see the stars in Paris, too much light pollution, but he liked to imagine where the stars were supposed to be anyway. They were out there somewhere, thousands of lightyears away. Some of them had died ages ago and humans just didn’t know it.

“Hey,” Marinette said as she leaned against the railing next to him. She was wrapped in a fluffy pink blanket. “You good?”

Chat cleared his throat. “Just thinking. ‘sides, you’re the one we’re talking about.”

Marinette stared up at the sky. “I got dumped,” she said flatly.

He blinked back tears. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she said. Her words were forced and sharp. “I just—” She inhaled sharply. “I thought things were going so _well_ and like…I loved him so much but—” Marinette choked back a sob and pressed a hand to her forehead. “ _God_ , it was just a three month relationship, I shouldn’t be this upset!”

Chat shook his head. “That’s not fair, just because it was short—”

“A three month relationship in _lycee_ , Chat,” she interrupted. “I mean, what was I thinking?! He’s a rich famous model and I’m—” Her voice broke and she buried her face in her blankets.

“Stop that,” Chat said. The words came out too harsh so he reached out and pulled Marinette’s blanket covered hands away from her face. “So what if he’s a model?” he asked as he counted the freckles between the tear streaks on her face. “You could do better than him.”

Marinette forced a laugh and pulled her hands away. “No I couldn’t,” she said as she wrapped her arms around herself. “Adrien was it for me.” She turned away from the Paris skyline and leaned against the railing. “Now I’ll just…live alone. Adopt a really big dog…”

“You’re a dog person?” Chat asked. That wasn’t the matter at hand, not at all, but his mouth worked faster than his brain.

She snorted, and at least Chat could say that it seemed genuine. “Yeah,” she said. “Maman and Papa said a dog would be too hard to keep with the bakery, but I’ve always wanted a dog.”

“I didn’t know that,” he murmured. He didn’t. He started making a list of all the things he’d failed to learn about Marinette in the months they were dating.

God he was a _terrible_ boyfriend.

“The shedding and the chocolate and stuff,” Marinette said, gesturing randomly with a hand. “And all that. But one day…”

“Your love life isn’t over cause some model kid can’t see how good he’s got it,” Chat said.

She shook her head and wiped her cheek with the blanket. “I don’t know… You’re probably right, but— I just…” She exhaled sharply. “I saw a whole future for us together, like some sort of…romantic fool who still believes in fairy tales and lychee romances.” She sank to the ground and pulled her knees to her chest.

“That doesn’t make you a fool.” Chat sat next to her and crossed his legs. “My parents met in lycee.”

“And they’re still together?” she asked softly.

“Uh…” He looked down at his hands. “My mom— she died a few years back, so…”

Marinette gasped. “Chat, I’m so sorry I had no idea.”

He glanced up at her and gave her a small smile. “How would you? You don’t know anything about me.”

She leaned back against the railing. “That’s not true, Chat Noir. I think that I know a lot about you.” A smile played on the corner of her lips for a moment before falling. “But maybe not. I thought Adrien loved me but…” She rested her chin on her knees. “He didn’t have time for me.”

Chat’s mouth went dry. “Maybe he meant that in a different way.”

“How?” Marinette demanded. “I deserve someone who has time for me? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Chat’s tail curled up behind him. “I— maybe his schedule—”

“I know about his schedule!” Marinette snapped. “I know that—” Her breath caught. “When— when we started dating I _accepted_ all that. I _knew_ he had stuff to do as a model. I was _okay_ with what had, I was fine with not spending every second of every day with him I just—” She pressed the blanket to her face and screamed in frustration.

Chat stared at the pink lump that was Marinette. This was much worse than he could’ve imagined it to be. To listen to her talk about him like he wasn’t him— because he wasn’t. He wasn’t Adrien Agreste, model, student, horrible heartbreaker. He was Chat Noir, goofy superhero who flirted with Marinette for fun.

“You wanna know the worst part of all this?” Marinette asked with a shaking voice as she lifted her head from her hands. Chat shook his head. He didn’t want to know. But Marinette kept going. “I’m not even mad at him.” Tears streamed down her face. “I’m— I _want_ to be mad because I-I know how to deal with being _mad_ but I’m not mad I just—” she sniffed and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand to make room for new ones, “I’m just sad. I just feel sad and empty and I _miss him_ which is so _unfair_.”

“Marinette,” Chat said softly.

“Do you know what it’s like?” she asked him. And she stared at him with tears in her eyes and messy hair and such a _broken_ expression on her face that he forgot how to breathe.

“No,” he whispered. “I don’t think I do.”   
She nodded and pulled the blanket tighter around her. “My best friend doesn’t either. She said it’ll stop hurting but…”

“You need time?”

“Yeah.”

Chat didn’t know anything about _getting_ dumped, but he did know a thing or two about losing someone you loved. “Sometimes you never really forget someone,” he murmured. He sat up a little straighter. “Do you think you two could still be friends?”

Marinette scoffed. “Hardly.”   
Chat recoiled. “Why not?”

She closed her eyes. “Tell me, Chat,” she said, her voice low and trembling, “how do you go from thinking about your future life and family with someone, and then just pretend you didn’t dream about it for months, and you’re fine never having it.”

He didn’t have a good answer for that.

“You deserve someone better,” he said again, for what felt like the hundredth time because she did. She deserved the moon and the sun and the stars and Adrien couldn’t give her any of that. All the restrictions and responsibilities in his life weighed him down and dragged him to the ground, he couldn’t take her down with him.

“But I _chose_ him,” she said sadly. “And I thought he chose me.”

Tears threaten to fall and Chat has to look away. He stares up at the sky and blinks rapidly and tries to get them to go away because he cannot cry. He will not cry.

“I wish,” Marinette whispered, “I just wished he talked to me.” She wrapped her arms around her legs and curled in on herself. “I wanted— to-to help? Or…he said he didn’t have time— I understood and—” Her bottom lip quivered as she held back another sob.

“Maybe he…he thought it sounded differently in his head,” Chat managed. “That— that you were worth more to him than just…a girlfriend when he had time for you and he wanted…more for you.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, a crease forming between them.

Chat met her eyes. “Maybe he was letting you go.”

“But I didn’t want him to.”

“Maybe he thought it was best—”

“He should’ve _asked_ what I wanted.” She wiped her nose. “I didn’t even know there was a _problem_. What kind of garbage girlfriend am I?”

Chat grabbed her hand. “No.” She stared at him. “You’re not a garbage girlfriend.”

Marinette tugged her hand away. “Like you would know,” she grumbled.

“Maybe he really did mean what he was saying,” he tried again. “Maybe…maybe for his whole life he’s only had to make small decisions and has never had to decide anything big, and he doesn’t know how to be selfish and want someone if they have better options than him. And…he knows what being trapped feels like and he knows…what being left feels like. And he didn’t want you to feel that way.”

“You say that like you know him,” she said. “Like your his secret brother or something.”

“Or something,” Chat agreed with his pulse racing.

Marinette tilted her head. “Or something?”

His hand was shaking when he reached out and pressed it against her cheek. He felt his ears flatten against his hair. “Nette,” he whispered, his voice cracked and everything ached. He wanted to fix this so badly, but it was a gaping wound and all he had were kid bandages.

Marinette stared at him and his heart hammered in his ears. She searched his eyes and he wasn’t sure what she was finding. His cheeks felt wet, the tears he was working so hard to hold back must have fallen.

“Adrien?” She whispered it, like a question, like an answer. It makes Chat’s heart shatter.

“I messed up,” he choked out, “I messed up really badly.”

“Adrien,” Marinette breathed again. She reached up and grabbed the hand Chat still had pressed against her cheek. “Wh-why didn’t you tell me?”

He shook his head. “I don’t— I couldn’t.” He hangs his head. “I thought…that…” Chat forced a laugh and shoved his hair out of his eyes. He met Marinette’s eyes. “I couldn’t be the model and student and superhero and boyfriend all at once,” he said. “And I— I couldn’t let you be stuck in an unhappy relationship when you could…be with literally anyone else.”   
Marinette blinked as tears fell from her eyes. “I want to be with you.”

“I don’t think I can,” he said, the words getting caught and jumbled in his throat. “Not— not in a way where I don’t feel awful about not seeing you.”   
“We could’ve worked something out,” she said. “Why didn’t you just…ask how I felt?”

“I…” Chat swallowed. “Honestly? It never occured to me. Talking to other people isn’t what I excel at.”

Marinette shook her head. “That’s not true.”

He smiled sadly at her. “No, it is. That’s just the way my family is. I should’ve known better, I should’ve just…” He takes a deep breath. “Nette, until Hawk Moth is stopped, I don’t think I can…” He trailed off and pulled his hand out of grip.

Marinette stared at his hand for a long moment. “We don’t know when that’ll be.”

“And I don’t expect you to wait for me.”

She glared at him. “That’s _not_ what I’m saying. I’m…I’m saying, that I understand. I mean, not entirely,” she said quickly. “Just…the balancing life thing. I’m not a model, but I have work here with my parents and my own design stuff. I have my own school work and duties for class government. I’m…I’m Ladybug so I have to deal with that. So our schedules are stuffed, but I don’t think we should put things on pause just because some evil guy is out there.”

Chat stared at her.

“What?” she asked, with a small smile.

“Ladybug,” he said slowly.

She tapped her earrings, the ones she always wore because Adrien just assumed she liked them a lot. “Yeah,” she said. She exhaled, breath a little shaky. “I… I guess keeping our identities a secret from each other didn’t…exactly help in the long run.”

Chat snorted and slapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Marinette scooted a little closer to him and leaned against his arm.

“Are _we_ okay?” Chat asked. “Because I…I really do understand if you’re mad at me.” Marinette was quiet for a long minute, and Chat braced himself for the worst. He tried to memorize how she felt resting against him, the smell of her hair, and the gentle pattern of her breathing.

“We will be,” she said. “We’ll get there.”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://sadrien.tumblr.com)


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